Well my worst fears kind of came true at court for Itty Bitty's TPR. At first bio dad didn't show up so they were going to do TPR on default but then he walked through the door 10 minutes late. After saying for the last 6 months that he would do a voluntary TPR he asked the judge for more time to make a decision. How much time does one person need, he has known for the last 2 years that this is what was going to happen, if he had wanted to be a dad he should have stepped up along time ago. Itty Bitty is 20 months old now and my sister (bio mom) decided when she found out that she was pregnant, that she would give Itty Bitty up for adoption, she told him that, but yet he waits til now to try and make a decision on what he wants to do.
There is no way that he would ever get custody of Itty Bitty, he is only going to delay the adoption process, which is what annoys me. If he doesn't do a voluntary, they will be going ahead with the involuntary and either way he will lose his rights. They are getting him for abandonment and failure to provide support, since he doesn't pay child support and he hasn't even asked to see Itty Bitty. The workers have sent him numerous papers telling him what he would have to do to even start visitation but he hasn't done anything and now he wants to pull this. UGH
They even told him that if he does a voluntary that it won't affect his other children (he has 7) in any way. But if he doesn't and it goes to trial, that the outcome could affect his children/future children. I guess I just don't see why he wants to make this so difficult.
I woke up the day of court feeling great, we were finally going to be one step closer to making Itty Bitty a legal part of our family (he always has been, but for it to be legal and all would be so much better), just to have him delay the process once again. It's just sad that after all this time my little guy still doesn't have permanancy.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Lots going on
I haven't updated in quite a while. Tons of stuff going on lately and I haven't found the time.
Monkey Man and Princess are doing wonderful in school, I couldn't be prouder of either one of them. Monster is doing great, gaining more and more words every day. He is now talking in some 2-3 word sentences. Itty Bitty has joined the wonderful world of the terrible twos even though he doesn't turn two for a couple more months.
They are finally going to start TPR on Itty Bitty. The date is set and now all I have to do is hope that bio dad doesn't change his mind at the last moment and drag this out any more than it has been already. A little over a week and Itty Bitty will be available for adoption. It is sad but at the same time a happy moment. Sad for the bio parents even thought bio mom wants this and bio dad could care less, it's still sad. Happy for me and Itty Bitty. We can finally become a legal family and I can officially call myself his mother (even though I already do).
Things have been so hectic lately but seem to be calming down. This week isn't as hectic as the past couple have been so I am thankful. Only have one appointment besides the regular therapy schedule, so it's good.
My sister, bio mom to Princess, Monster, and Itty Bitty has not been doing the best. From rumors that are going around she is back to drinking, talking to lots of other guys who are not her boyfriend and just basically back to the same old behavior I have seen time and time again. It's so sad to have to sit and watch her self destruct but I have tried and tried to help her and I just can't do it any more. If she was more willing to help herself but she isn't.
Things here have been good, just waiting for the court date which is a little over a week away. I have been seeing more behaviors from Princess and Monster after visits which is never a good sign. Just something to keep an eye on and report to the workers. The workers have denied my sister over nights with the kids, which is good since they are already having behaviors after being over there for only a couple of hours. I couldn't imagine what they would be like after a whole day.
All I can do is hope that she will see the light, so to speak, and start doing what is in the best interest of the children.
Monkey Man and Princess are doing wonderful in school, I couldn't be prouder of either one of them. Monster is doing great, gaining more and more words every day. He is now talking in some 2-3 word sentences. Itty Bitty has joined the wonderful world of the terrible twos even though he doesn't turn two for a couple more months.
They are finally going to start TPR on Itty Bitty. The date is set and now all I have to do is hope that bio dad doesn't change his mind at the last moment and drag this out any more than it has been already. A little over a week and Itty Bitty will be available for adoption. It is sad but at the same time a happy moment. Sad for the bio parents even thought bio mom wants this and bio dad could care less, it's still sad. Happy for me and Itty Bitty. We can finally become a legal family and I can officially call myself his mother (even though I already do).
Things have been so hectic lately but seem to be calming down. This week isn't as hectic as the past couple have been so I am thankful. Only have one appointment besides the regular therapy schedule, so it's good.
My sister, bio mom to Princess, Monster, and Itty Bitty has not been doing the best. From rumors that are going around she is back to drinking, talking to lots of other guys who are not her boyfriend and just basically back to the same old behavior I have seen time and time again. It's so sad to have to sit and watch her self destruct but I have tried and tried to help her and I just can't do it any more. If she was more willing to help herself but she isn't.
Things here have been good, just waiting for the court date which is a little over a week away. I have been seeing more behaviors from Princess and Monster after visits which is never a good sign. Just something to keep an eye on and report to the workers. The workers have denied my sister over nights with the kids, which is good since they are already having behaviors after being over there for only a couple of hours. I couldn't imagine what they would be like after a whole day.
All I can do is hope that she will see the light, so to speak, and start doing what is in the best interest of the children.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Hectic
Things have been so hectic lately. Monkey Man is now in school. We had lots of meetings before school started to straighten out his IEP. He has been doing really good so hopefully it will continue and we will have a great year. The school messed up Princess's paperwork so we are still waiting for her to start school, hopefully she will be able to start sometime this week. Monkey is doing really good, he is gaining more speech everyday. I am trying to get him on the waiver so he can start ABA therapy. Other than that Birth to 3 is starting to transition him to the school system since he turns 3 in January. Itty Bitty is doing well. He is starting the terrible twos and thinks he can do anything he pleases and is starting to throw fits when he finds out otherwise.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Sad
Last week was actually very laid back until Friday. I got a call from my mother on Friday morning saying that my grandmother was on the way to the hospital and that she was unresponsive. My mom was trying to get a hold of my aunt (who was also very close to my grandma) and wanted to know if I had my cousin's number, my aunt was over there baby sitting. I told my mom I would call my aunt and tell her to call my mom since my mom was driving. I got ahold of my aunt right away and gave her the message.
About half an hour later, my mom called back and said that they had my grandma was in cat scan and she would keep me updated. At that point my sister called me and I let her know what was going on. When I got off the phone I realized I had a voice mail but didn't have a missed call, my phone does that some times.
I listened to the voice mail. It was my mom and she sounded like she was crying. I knew at that point that it was going to be bad. My mom just isn't the type of person who cries unless it is really bad. So with a heavy heart I called my mom back and that is when she told me that my grandma had passed away. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and tore my heart out. All I could do was cry and try to make sure my mom was ok through the tears.
I went and picked up my sister and we headed up to the hospital to say our good byes. My aunt, mom, and cousins were there. It was such a sad moment. At first I couldn't even go into the viewing room. I just sat in the waiting room. After I had giving myself some time, I went in and said good bye to the only grandparent I have ever known. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Now normally I am the person who doesn't cry in front of others. I am usually the rock that holds everyone together, but I broke down hard. I couldn't hold in the tears anymore.
Last week was very hard with the wake, funeral and burial. But at the same time it was very beautiful. There were Native American singers and drummers at all 3 and everything was very beautiful.
About half an hour later, my mom called back and said that they had my grandma was in cat scan and she would keep me updated. At that point my sister called me and I let her know what was going on. When I got off the phone I realized I had a voice mail but didn't have a missed call, my phone does that some times.
I listened to the voice mail. It was my mom and she sounded like she was crying. I knew at that point that it was going to be bad. My mom just isn't the type of person who cries unless it is really bad. So with a heavy heart I called my mom back and that is when she told me that my grandma had passed away. It felt like someone had reached into my chest and tore my heart out. All I could do was cry and try to make sure my mom was ok through the tears.
I went and picked up my sister and we headed up to the hospital to say our good byes. My aunt, mom, and cousins were there. It was such a sad moment. At first I couldn't even go into the viewing room. I just sat in the waiting room. After I had giving myself some time, I went in and said good bye to the only grandparent I have ever known. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Now normally I am the person who doesn't cry in front of others. I am usually the rock that holds everyone together, but I broke down hard. I couldn't hold in the tears anymore.
Last week was very hard with the wake, funeral and burial. But at the same time it was very beautiful. There were Native American singers and drummers at all 3 and everything was very beautiful.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Fun Weekend
It was a fun and busy weekend. Last week Monkey Man and Princess had Safety Camp. They had so much fun all week long. On Friday they held a little graduation party for them. I honestly thought that I would be getting a call to come get one or the other child for behaviors but they both did wonderful and I couldn't be prouder of both of them.
On Saturday we had our family reunion and on Sunday was my nephews birthday party. In between the events I tore into the house work that got neglected last week. The kids had a blast at both events and got alot of energy out, which was nice for me at bed time. My nephew had a blast and got what he wanted for his birthday which was a Nintendo DS, games, and accessories. He had a fun time playing with his cousins. :)
Last week I talked to the case worker (we were supposed to have our home visit but she was sick so we re-scheduled for this coming up week) and she told me that she is getting Itty Bitty's TPR under way. She also told me that she doesn't know what the future will hold for Princess and Monster but she does know that they will be here with me for quite a bit longer.
On Saturday we had our family reunion and on Sunday was my nephews birthday party. In between the events I tore into the house work that got neglected last week. The kids had a blast at both events and got alot of energy out, which was nice for me at bed time. My nephew had a blast and got what he wanted for his birthday which was a Nintendo DS, games, and accessories. He had a fun time playing with his cousins. :)
Last week I talked to the case worker (we were supposed to have our home visit but she was sick so we re-scheduled for this coming up week) and she told me that she is getting Itty Bitty's TPR under way. She also told me that she doesn't know what the future will hold for Princess and Monster but she does know that they will be here with me for quite a bit longer.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
What a long week
This last week has been very hectic. The children are having tons of behaviors and I am just not sleeping well at all. The children are also not sleeping well so besides having my own sleep issues, I am up with them for part of the night too. So needless to say we have all been pretty crabby this past week. Hopefully it will start to get better but we will see.
Monkey Man and Princess start safety camp tomorrow. They are excited as am I. We talk about safety almost daily but to have them learn more or things that haven't come up yet is just great. And then I get to spend some alone time with Monster and Itty Bitty.
I have my meeting with the case workers this week, so I am going to see what they are thinking and hopefully get some answers about what is going to be happening. I am seriously not a patient person and all of this wait and see stuff is really getting old.
Monkey Man and Princess start safety camp tomorrow. They are excited as am I. We talk about safety almost daily but to have them learn more or things that haven't come up yet is just great. And then I get to spend some alone time with Monster and Itty Bitty.
I have my meeting with the case workers this week, so I am going to see what they are thinking and hopefully get some answers about what is going to be happening. I am seriously not a patient person and all of this wait and see stuff is really getting old.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Possibly getting closer to some permanancy
Well I talked to Princess and Monster's case worker yesterday and she basically told me that she was ready to start TPR on bio mom (my sister) but was waiting on the tribe (we are Native American) to come to a decision on what to do. The tribe doesn't like to TPR parents but will if it becomes necessary, which in this case it is pretty apparent that bio mom just isn't going to straighten up.
You know, she is my sister and I love her but I just wish she would straighten up and do what is best for the children. You think she would have learned her lesson when she got the oldest two children taken away and my parents were given guardianship back in 2004. Now 6 years later and she is still pulling the same shit. I just wish for once she would just do the right thing. I would love it if she would prove everyone wrong and maintain her sobriety, get the kids back, and actually be a parent to them. But I have finally come to the realization that it just isn't going to happen.
At this point I can only hope that everyone involved will act in the children's best interest. I don't see my sister straightening up so the next best thing is to do TPR and get the kids some permanancy. The kids have been back and forth between my sister and I since 2006 when Princess came to live with me when she was 9 months old. And Monster has never had a permanent place in his 2.5 years on this Earth. He has been shuffled here, there and everywhere.
You know, she is my sister and I love her but I just wish she would straighten up and do what is best for the children. You think she would have learned her lesson when she got the oldest two children taken away and my parents were given guardianship back in 2004. Now 6 years later and she is still pulling the same shit. I just wish for once she would just do the right thing. I would love it if she would prove everyone wrong and maintain her sobriety, get the kids back, and actually be a parent to them. But I have finally come to the realization that it just isn't going to happen.
At this point I can only hope that everyone involved will act in the children's best interest. I don't see my sister straightening up so the next best thing is to do TPR and get the kids some permanancy. The kids have been back and forth between my sister and I since 2006 when Princess came to live with me when she was 9 months old. And Monster has never had a permanent place in his 2.5 years on this Earth. He has been shuffled here, there and everywhere.
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