Possibly getting closer to some permanancy

Well I talked to Princess and Monster's case worker yesterday and she basically told me that she was ready to start TPR on bio mom (my sister) but was waiting on the tribe (we are Native American) to come to a decision on what to do. The tribe doesn't like to TPR parents but will if it becomes necessary, which in this case it is pretty apparent that bio mom just isn't going to straighten up.
You know, she is my sister and I love her but I just wish she would straighten up and do what is best for the children. You think she would have learned her lesson when she got the oldest two children taken away and my parents were given guardianship back in 2004. Now 6 years later and she is still pulling the same shit. I just wish for once she would just do the right thing. I would love it if she would prove everyone wrong and maintain her sobriety, get the kids back, and actually be a parent to them. But I have finally come to the realization that it just isn't going to happen.
At this point I can only hope that everyone involved will act in the children's best interest. I don't see my sister straightening up so the next best thing is to do TPR and get the kids some permanancy. The kids have been back and forth between my sister and I since 2006 when Princess came to live with me when she was 9 months old. And Monster has never had a permanent place in his 2.5 years on this Earth. He has been shuffled here, there and everywhere.

Wow

Summer is just flying by. The kids are definately keeping me busy but it is all great. Because of me staying busy I have lost a few pounds :) . Today was great. Hung out in the house all morning because it was just too hot to be outside with 5 kids under the age of 6 (I babysit my cousins 4 month old occasionally). But as soon as the sun started hiding behind the clouds and my cousin picked up baby, we went outside to play. The kids had a blast even though it was still really warm outside. Luckily my back yard is pretty shaded, but also kind of suck because there are tons of mosquitos out there. All in all it was a great day. Now all I have is the twins, Monster and Itty Bitty (I call them twins because they look so much alike, are often mistaken for twins, only difference is Monster is a lot bigger than Itty Bitty). Princess went to one grandma's house for the night and Monkey Man went to a different grandma's for the night. It is so peaceful here, the twins are in bed, and I actually have some free time before I am too tired to do anything. I forgot how nice it is to only have two but I wouldn't trade the four for the world.

The here and now

The past week has again been crazy with trying to get things set up for Monster, trying to get Princess set up in school, and just trying to keep things together. I am feeling better about Monster's diagnosis and am ready to face the challenge of getting services for him head on. At the very least I can feel good about the fact that I have already been through all of this and know the ropes. Of course my advocate and the lady from the county have been out all week so I am just playing the waiting game at this point. I am so not a patient person and hate to have to wait. But at this point that is all I can do.
I also have scheduled an appointment to get Monkey Man screened for ADD/ADHD. His attention just isn't there. I started noticing soon after his autism diagnosis but he was still young and I figured I would give it some time. But now it is becoming obvious that he is going to have to be put on meds if we want to continue with progress. His inattention is vastly hindering him and I know how much meds helped me out when I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 9. Even Monkey Man's therapists agree that it would be beneficial for him so now it is just another waiting game, his appointment isn't until Sept. UGH!!! But I did call another place to see if they can get him in sooner but they haven't returned my call yet.
Other than that, the children have been good. Today was a little bad but only because we were stuck in the house because of the rain.

Sad day :(

Today started out really well. We went out to my mothers to visit, do some laundry, and let the kids swim. Princess and Monsters mom came over to visit with the kids and brought over some paperwork that came from the place that evaluated Monster for autism. I opened it up and there it was. Monster has autism. Before receiving the diagnosis I could atleast tell myself that I was just being paranoid and that he was fine. Or even convince myself that when we got the results that it would say that he was ok and didn't have autism. But now I have it in black and white and there is no turning back now.
I honestly thought that I was ready to hear/see the word autism again but it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart is heavy as I think about Monster's future and what it all means. Will he do as well as Monkey Man does or will he always function at the level he is at? Will he always require supervision or will he be able to live on his own? So many questions and only time can give me any answers.
When we got home today I came online to go to my online support group and discuss Monster with them and come to find out that one of the ladies (there is only about 20 of us) passed away. I didn't know her in real life but it still breaks my heart to know that her autistic son and husband will be without her. She was such a kind and caring person and will be sorely missed. She helped me out alot with her kindness and I never got the chance to re-pay her.
All in all it was a sad day with too much going on. Hopefully things will look better in the morning.

The Visit

Our visit with the case workers went well. I told them what was going on with Princess and Monster after visits with their mother and basically they told me to limit visits and try to get mom to only visit without her boyfriend. Since we all believe that the children are having a reaction to him and not to their mom.
Things have been good and I am thankful for the little break in all the commotion that has consumed our lives as of lately. It's nice to not have so many appointments, meetings, etc. Most people would think our normal everyday lives are extremely busy but weeks like this are great to me. Between all the kids we have around 30 hours of therapy a week, and Monkey Man has baseball once a week. That's alot to most people but to us it's everyday life. It's when there are other appointments and whatnot going on that it gets a little crazy.

Update

Itty Bitty's surgery went very well. His little silver teeth are just cute. When he came out of surgery he was very crabby but once he seen me, he calmed right down. After a bottle he was walking around and playing. No complications or anything and he is eating with those front teeth already. I'm so glad that we had it done and now we can focus on getting him bigger (he is so tiny).
Things here have been a roller coaster. I am so glad that last week is done and the big things are out of the way.
Yesterday Princess and Monster had a visit with their mother and last night wasn't good, again. Everytime they have a visit with their mom, they are up part of the night. With Monster, he starts whining in his sleep and I just go in there rub his back and give him his blanket and right back to sleep he goes. With Princess she is up crying and carrying on until I have her come and cuddle with me on the couch and then I have to make her a bed right by mine before she will go back to sleep. Poor kids. This only started when mom went back to her old boyfriend. I am beginning to think that there was much more going on over there than any of us knew. I don't think they like mom's boyfriend, I don't know what he was doing to them but they do not like him.
I have an appointment with the case workers this week and will let them know what is going on. I can only hope that they will not send the children back to that situation. I know they were talking about doing unsupervised visit's but hope they change their mind.
Other than that, things have been going good. The children are starting to settle down and are becoming accustome to how things are done (like bed time routine, etc). Hopefully we will know soon if Princess and Monster will be here for a while, cause if so than we need to find a different place. This one is ok but is pretty small for all the kids.

Surgery

Itty Bitty is in surgery right now to put caps on his front 4 teeth. Poor baby has been in surgery for an hour and a half aready and it looks like it is going to be atleast another half an hour. Stupid teeth, enamal didn't form correctly and now he has to go through all of this. So here I sit worried/scared out of my mind and all I can do is wait. I never had a child go through surgery before and honestly don't know what to expect. I post more later when we get home and he is settled.

The appointment

So I took Monster in for his autism eval today. It went well but at the end I found out it will take 3-4 weeks before we get the results. UGH!!!!! I asked the evaluator for her honest opinion and she told me that she was leaning towards pdd-nos. She said that she seen a lot of signs of autism but wasn't sure if he would fit all 6 criteria that is needed for an autism diagnosis but he fit into atleast 4-5 criteria so that's why she said pdd-nos. But she had to talk with the psychologist to see what he said then they would send me the results.
I am not a patient person when it comes to this kind of thing. I want to know now and hate that I have to wait atleast another month to get the answers. My sister (the good one) kept the other 3 while I took Monster to his appointment. When we returned she said she doesn't know how I do it. She was going crazy after only 3 hours. That actually felt good to hear.

The 4th of July

Yesterday was fun. Monster and Itty Bitty stayed with a sitter and me, Princess, Monkey Man, my niece and my friend and her daughter headed to down town to watch the fireworks. It was so crowded there so we hung back some so Monkey Man wouldn't get too overstimulated. The fireworks were beautiful until it started raining. The rain actually felt pretty good because it was so warm out last night. We started heading back as the rain started coming down a little harder. As we were going over the bridge, the rain started letting up and they were starting grand finale, so we hung out on the bridge and watched the last of the fireworks.
It was a nice night and the kids went to bed pretty quick after we got back home. I got next to no sleep before Monster and Itty Bitty got me up this morning but it was worth it.
Now today we are heading out to my parents house for a cook out and to light off some fire works. Hopefully we don't get rained out again.

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

The kids and I went out to my parents yesterday morning. Around 10 we went to the parade they were having in town. The kids had a blast getting candy and little toys that people in the floats were throwing. Monkey Man did so much better than I expected. He doesn't do well with loud noises, but did good with the band and fire truck sirens. It just goes to show how much progress he has made in the past 2 years.
My sister actually showed up to spend time with Princess and Monster. She took them to play outside. She actually spent like 3 hours with them.
Then for dinner we went over and visited an old family friend. We sat there until dark and watched the fire works. The neighbors must have spent a fortune on fireworks but they were all very beautiful.
Last night Monster was up off and on all night whining and crying. I'm not sure if it was because he went to bed later, wasn't feeling well, or because of the visit he had with his mother. Poor baby is just tired today.
Tonight we are supposed to go down town and watch the fireworks. Let's just hope that they don't get rained out.

If it's not one thing it's another

I took Princess to the doctor today to have them check out the wart looking thing on her wrist. When I first noticed it, it looked like a normal wart, but now a month later, it was red all the way around and huge. Well turns out it is just a wart and the red around it is the skin getting irratated because of how big the wart is. While we were at the doctor, they did a full check over. When the doctor listened to her heart, I noticed she was taken a long time listening. The doc then asked me if Princess ever had a murmer before. I said, no. Well I guess she does now. They said it's nothing serious right now, but they will have to keep an eye on it. Just something else to worry about!!!
This weekend is going to be crazy busy. We have a parade, cookout, fireworks and more fireworks. I hope the kids will have a blast and I will get a tan.

Typical

I know I should stop believing in my sister and take what she says with a grain of salt. But somewhere deep inside I am still hopeful that she will turn her life around and be a mom to Princess and Monster. She was supposed to visit again today and of course like always, she never showed up. It's just one excuse after another. It's been a week since she has seen them and will probably be atleast another week until she see's them again. I try my best to work with her schedule and let her see the children when she wants but I think I am just going to have to lay down some ground rules with her. Luckily I never tell Princess or Monster when their mom says she is going to visit because most of the time she doesn't show up and I don't want to make them feel as if they did something wrong to make her not want to visit that day.
We did have a great day though. We just stayed home all day and played. Auntie and cousin showed up and the kids had so much fun playing together. Monkey Man had a baseball game tonight. So me, Monkey Man and Princess went to the game, while the other two stayed home with a sitter (it was a late game and the little one's go to bed early). It was nice to spend some one on one time with Princess while we enjoyed the game.