Today started out really well. We went out to my mothers to visit, do some laundry, and let the kids swim. Princess and Monsters mom came over to visit with the kids and brought over some paperwork that came from the place that evaluated Monster for autism. I opened it up and there it was. Monster has autism. Before receiving the diagnosis I could atleast tell myself that I was just being paranoid and that he was fine. Or even convince myself that when we got the results that it would say that he was ok and didn't have autism. But now I have it in black and white and there is no turning back now.
I honestly thought that I was ready to hear/see the word autism again but it hit me like a ton of bricks. My heart is heavy as I think about Monster's future and what it all means. Will he do as well as Monkey Man does or will he always function at the level he is at? Will he always require supervision or will he be able to live on his own? So many questions and only time can give me any answers.
When we got home today I came online to go to my online support group and discuss Monster with them and come to find out that one of the ladies (there is only about 20 of us) passed away. I didn't know her in real life but it still breaks my heart to know that her autistic son and husband will be without her. She was such a kind and caring person and will be sorely missed. She helped me out alot with her kindness and I never got the chance to re-pay her.
All in all it was a sad day with too much going on. Hopefully things will look better in the morning.
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